Kate G
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Diary of a "Fake" Cancer Patient - and the Seasons are a' changing

Kate G
Posted by
22 Oct 2014

The last couple of weeks have been typically autumnal – leaves are coming off the trees, filling up the garden & it’s been a little chilly in the mornings. As the nights darken I start to struggle with my energy levels & these dark mornings are very hard until the clocks go back – I’ve often wondered if my body clock is so rigid that I start to adjust early, much in the same way that I wake up earlier just before the switch to British Summer Time. Having said that, autumn is definitely my favourite season of the year, with the promise of fireworks & crackling fires, comfort food, candles, & Christmas, which is my favourite time of year. As I’m writing this I can almost smell that lovely smoky bonfire smell, mixed up with the aroma of mulled wine, scented candles & pine needles & with that thought, I can transport myself off into my favourite “safe” place aka my living room, cwtching Dan, Meggy & Pickle & all is well with the world.

Living with cancer is pretty stressful & as a consequence, my “safe” place is very important to me – it’s got to be somewhere where I am resting & relaxing, somewhere where I don’t need to think about my condition, for a while, where I can just “be”. I suppose it’s like a sort of continuous mindfulness - mindfulness requires that you stop, just for a second, & appreciate what is happening at that time, what you can smell, taste, hear & see. In this case, however, I’ve committed it to memory so that when I need to I can go back to how my safe place makes me feel & it calms me.

Some of you reading this may well think that I’m talking about our natural urge to “hibernate” as the seasons change but I would disagree. I’m not suggesting for a second that I want to stay in all the time, shun the company of others & sleep, since personally I think this time of year is incredibly exciting (& not just for the kids). Having said that & having blogged before about cancer related tiredness, maybe I am kidding myself & that this just gives me a reason to stay in of an evening! One thing that is certain, is that I really need the clocks to go back so that the mornings aren’t so dark, even though I very much doubt that I’ll stay up later - dark mornings & cancer fatigue just don’t sit together very well ……



I can totally relate to this, Kate!

Getting up in the dark, going to work and coming home in the dark having been indoors all day always gets me down and definitely affects my energy levels, too.

I think we all have a place or hobby/activity which we return to when we're in need of some quiet time or need to feel safe. Mine is having a cup of tea and listening to the football on the radio whilst reading the papers and I do this regularly when I need a bit of headspace. Bizzarely I also find going for a run energising and an opportunity to think things over.

The clocks are going back this weekend and Christmas is not all that far away so we've got that to cling to! Thanks again for the blog and everything you're doing to help us beat blood cancer.