Butterfly Anna
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Fatigue & Anxiety

Butterfly Anna
Posted by
10 Dec 2015

Fatigue leading to anxiety

One of the many things I found hard was the overwhelming fatigue.  Very early on I met a lady who was a little younger than me and she said she found the fatigue was one of the worst things and now I know what she meant!

Partly due to the brutal treatment and partly due to all the time I spent laid in a hospital bed my body became extremely weak!  I would get out of breath really easily and start to panic.  If I had to go anywhere I would have to work out if there would be places I could sit and rest if I needed to and make sure there would be a toilet nearby because of the colitis.  My anxiety got so out of control my doctor gave me medication to help control it. It was so crippling at times that I couldn't get off the settee to do anything in cause my body let me down.

I had to go up the stairs on my hands and knees and when I came down my husband would walk in front of me as I was so weak there was a danger I would fall!  I still get tired really easily and my legs don't have much strength in them.

I remember sitting at home crying, watching people walking past going about their day to day lives and feeling so sorry for myself!  I had taken so much for granted in life but suddenly my freedom and independence had gone!  I was totally reliant on other people for the first time in my life, I'm usually the one in control but I had to let go and trust those around me. 

You lose total confidence in your body and what its capable of so that the simplest things become impossible.  My mum made me go for a short walk once and I was a nervous wreak the whole time! Another time is had knelt down to do something and couldn't get up again without help!

A friend kindly lent me a wheelchair which meant I could get out a bit when I was between treatments, my daughter thought it was great fun pushing me in it!




Thank you so much for another really open and honest blog which raises another really important issue that many patients face during treatment and in the weeks and months after it as their bodies slowly recover.

As you make clear in the blog the fatigue can be debilitating. I remember having similar problems immediately after my transplant and found it very difficult to get my head round as a couple of weeks prior to going in to the hospital I had run the London Marathon!
Walking was a real issue, too, but bit by bit I got there as my body slowly recovered and you will get there too. Stay in touch and remember that our Patient Experience team are here to help in any way that we can.