Kris G
Posted by

Fighting chances

Kris G
Posted by
23 Apr 2014

I'm very open with my diagnosis and happy to share but I went through a rather horrible 2 weeks earlier in the year where I've considered my own mortality WAY too much.

At my last appointment the result came back at 0.03 which was a significant increase from my previous reading of 0.004. Even though my consultant reassured me, I properly panicked. Have I put too much weight on? Too much alcohol? Too much stressy work? Has the dasatinib just given up? It was horrible. My consultant rushed a set of blood-work though.

My result on Friday was 0.03. It turns out that the 0.004 was an outlier result. My blood has been stable in MMR for over 2 years. No need to panic. I'm not dead yet.

It's utterly pointless trying to tell any of you to heed my words and not to worry because if something goes wrong then you will. No matter how logical the thoughts are, a part of our brain will turn them into a dark irrational, illogical thoughts that somehow the disease has finally caught up with us and the end is nigh.

I don't know why we do this to ourselves. I spent 2 days in a funk, being upset with everything - a lifetime of living life on-the-edge in front of me. I suppose I'll get used to it - I'm 6 years in.

The point of my message? I know what it's like and there are thousands of people out there that know. I'm writing to share an experience. To use the language that you use. To make sure that if something like this happens to you there is a little spark in that back of your brain that says - well he was OK - before the other stuff kicks in.

Ultimately we are all alone, that's the downside of personalised health-care but right here and right now we all have a fighting chance. And that has to be enough...