Michaela D
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Happy 3 Year Diagnosis Day

Michaela D
Posted by
07 Mar 2016

An emotional day as I remember and reflect on how my life has changed


To many a normal date but to me this date represents so much. Picture the scene. You're really unwell. You're hooked up to all sorts of drips. You're drifting in and out of consciousness. You've been told you might have a problem with your iron. It's your uncle's birthday so you'll think you'll be out soon to celebrate. The doors open and a doctor you've never seen before walks in. You stir as she addresses you by name. 

'You have Acute Myloid Leukaemia Michaela, any questions?' A short pause and then she leaves the room. I never saw her again. 

A whirlwind of emotions. What even is leukaemia? What does this mean? What will happen to me?  That night I was transported up to London where I'd then meet the incredible team of people who saved my life. No amount of thanks or words will ever portray my gratitude,  love and awe of what they did to me and what they do for other people. Those people are heroes. 

A gruelling and horrific chapter of my life followed. Four cycles of chemotherapy and the horrors of living with and having cancer. It wasn't just me who went through cancer.  My family and friends did too...

Cancer is a funny thing. For many people it is the beginning of the end. But,  for me it was the start of the beginning. The mental battle in hospital was the hardest thing for me. I could tell your how many tiles were on the ceiling,  how many blinds were in the window and how frequently the tap would drip to the second. I used to try and wash myself away in the shower and will myself into a coma so I could wake up when it was all over. I had a lot of time to think when I was ill. I could tell you what and how I wanted my funeral. But,  I could also tell you how I wanted my life to be different if and when it was all over.  

You see I had a lot of time to think and to me, I know see the cancer as a gift,  a cruel gift but a gift none the less that taught me to live my life. It taught me to seize moments as they arise and to find good in every day. No matter how hard you think you're life is there are always so many reasons to make you smile. One of my favourite memories from having cancer was leaving the hospital,  having spent 36 days in filtered air and isolation,  to the feeling of the rain against my face. It was beautiful. Don't let silly things like the rain stop you from seizing the day!  Spend time with family,  friends and those that matter. Go to the place you've always wanted to go. Try that thing you've always wanted to do but never quite got round to doing. Martin Luther King said 'our lives end the minute we become silent about the things that matter' and that's true, not just of words but of actions too. Make the time for you and everything that matters. 


Eleanor Baggley

Another wonderful blog, Michaela. Your positivity and 'sieze the day' attitude is so inspiring. Best wishes, Eleanor

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