Bloodwise Ambassador Katie Ruane
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A little escape

Bloodwise Ambassador Katie Ruane
Posted by
27 Oct 2013

It's funny that at a fairly pivotal point of my life in terms of a new consultant, new approach to my treatment, starting a new drug dosage and getting really not great results which were a massive shock and have made me start thinking. Will I ever actually come off treatment? Anyway, that is not what I was going to talk about and I don't want to go there yet.  A pivotal moment in terms of me and the big C and I ended up going to Edinburgh spur of the moment for 24 hours, back to where it all began.

My flatty was going up for work and due to various reasons he ended up needing to fly minutes after booking a train ticket (1st class. Nice) so offered it to me. I did think about saying no as I have stupid amounts of work to do and haven't been well so am a week behind. On that note, the fluey virus thing going around at the moment is seriously horrible. Flatty came home one evening and asked what was wrong with my neck as my gland was MASSIVE!!! Anyways, back to pivotal. Haven't been this rambly in ages!

So. I phoned home. Explained to my Ma. Free 1st class train ticket and a night in the Balmoral. She said. Don't be an idiot- go!!! Well actually, she didn't exactly say that, but if I didn't have a bit of poetic license this would be dull. So ignoring the work load and bringing some with me to appease my guilt I got on the train at 9.30 on Thursday morning to Edinburgh. Aaah guilt! That's why I've been eating EVERYTHING for the last couple of days. Been comfort eating to appease the guilt!  Oh for gods sake Katherine, get on with it.

Edinburgh. A lot happened there. And in fact I went past the flat I adored and lived in for 2 years. And it was in that flat that I got 'the phone call' and my life has never been the same again.

I love Edinburgh. I have since the moment I arrived there in September 2004. I can't explain it. The city just makes me smile and feel happy and so glad to be alive. And the weather was perfect as well. On Thursday I spent a few hours wondering around taking a million photos of things I have taken a million photos of before my flatty arrived and then on Friday we drove past Barony Street and I was so thrilled to see that Something Fishy, the fish mongers, and so many other independent places are still open. But it also made me feel quite sad and nostalgic. I had a moment of being me at 22 again living in Edinburgh and being so happy. Not that I'm not now. It was different. I was so care-free and my big choices were what to drink/eat/wear that night when I went out. And then January 19th happened.

I sat on top of Calton hill in the sunshine smiling and just taking in the city. Saying hello to Arthur and watching the sails of a boat on the Firth of Forth. And when my flatty arrived I told him all my favourite facts about the burg. For example- Arthur is in fact, an extinct volcano. He was really thrilled about this….

I was only there for 24 hours and it was a busy one but I felt, even for that short time, connected with the city and with the earth and content with where I am.

The last few weeks (months and years) have been a bit rocky as my talk at Find Your Sense of Tumour highlights ( but I shall be eternally grateful for this little escape back up to the north to a place that has a very special place in my heart and always will do.

So I give this picture to you. My wonderful Edinburgh. And with it a huge thank you to my flatty for allowing it to happen.

With love and laughter,


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