Maria G63
Posted by

Results time?......

Maria G63
Posted by
25 Oct 2016

So its almost 3 months since I finished my chemo and now time for the delightful bone marrow biopsy and Ct scan to see whats what?....

So my Chemo finished onJuly 22nd and after a few weeks recovering I assumed life would go back to normal....How wrong was I! It just goes to show that the advice never to assume should be heeded. After the few weeks post chemo I found myself in some kind of limbo. It was like being lost in the dark, I had no idea what was going on and found myself getting  very low, tearful and feeling quite helpless. Its a shame that although we are given advice on what to expect during chemo, no one warns you about the post chemo blues. I felt so guilty that I wasnt bouncing around back to how I used to be and felt I couldnt talk about it as my family and friends had been so supportive during treatment and I didnt want to burden them with how I was actually feeling. so I put on a brave face and tried very hard to "get on with life". I went back to work on a phased return hoping that would help but I had lost some of my  confidence and found it overwhelming. I went to my post chemo appointment and while I was waiting was chatting to my trials nurse who put my mind at rest and told me it was perfectly normal! She reffered me for some counselling which I would highly reccomend to anyone struggling, its doing me the world of good. I think a lot of it is the fact that while your having chemo you have a structure and routine. You go for treatment know your going to feel rubbish for a while, feel better then start the cycle again. Once it stops you have no routine and think you should be back to your old self. But I think it was then that reality hit me and I took stock of what I had been through. Also not knowing what effect the treatment has had and having to wait the 3 months for tests etc probably leaves you feeling a little bit in a kind of limbo. Anyway on the plus side, emotionally I am feeling a bit more positive and I think once these tests are done and I have an idea of what happens next I think it will be a step forward. I am still going to work, (nursing) doing a few hours a day  and getting a bit more of my confidence back. So anyone out there who is having problems please seek out some help. Tenovus and Macmillan offer coucelling and your consultant or gp can refer you. Watch this space and I will update again once the results are in.......

Comments

16.11.2016

Maria, thank you so much for sharing this experience with us. I can imagine that many people can relate to these words. I am so sorry that you have been feeling so low after your chemotherapy ended. You have been through so much and I can only imagine how tough it must all have been. I am so glad to hear that counselling has been so helpful for you and I hope you continue to feel better as time goes on and gradually get your confidence back. Do keep in touch and let us know how you're doing. Wishing you all the best, Alice